Top positive review
Screeches like a bat and a fire alarm had an unholy baby
July 22, 2018
I feel like every review should've opened with "THIS THING SCREECHES". Would've been good to know. I thought "the timer will sound" meant a pleasant little ding or chime or I would've even been okay with a short elephant trumpet, but instead this tiny but mighty cooker will put out a continuous, shrill, miniature SIREN. What is it Lassie!?!? Is it the world's smallest hurricane flood warning? Are the tornadoes coming!? Is there a fire!??
No it's your eggs, they're cooked, because some designing genius thought, you know what folks want to hear as they rouse gently from slumber and prepare their breakfast in the lazy morning? A shrill-af non-stop siren that'll raise your cortisol and maybe gnaw a bit into your mental health. If growing up you ever dashed to open the Microwave before it hit 0, just to spare yourself and your roommates the alarm from that loud microwave beep, boy is this the adult version for you.
I'm honestly surprised not more people have remarked on this. Everyone is like oh good eggs! Perfect poach! Mm eggs! Gee yea the eggs taste good when going down with my heart medication bc that bugger shriek still makes my breath catch. I live in dread of it now. But I also want eggs.
And I guess this does make eggs. It's $20. It's a fun size that fits well on the counter. The poached eggs not gonna lie come out a bit ...ugly looking, but I just want eggs. Softboiled delivers as promised. The lines seem pretty accurate, I've found when I go above or under them, the cook does vary appropriately (under/over).
So I'll keep it for now until I'm rich enough to afford a better one and also therapy for the siren that haunts my dreams.