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Unhinged Crazy Cat Lady Who is Not Fond of Cats
on February 26, 2017
Let me set the stage for this long review. I am diagnosing myself as CP phobic (cat pee phobic). This is not yet an official disease but I am working on a patent. The roots of my CP phobia come from my childhood days as does everything else that is wrong with my life but I will skip the details for a book I will later write and discuss with Dr. Oz. Cats were around me in my childhood days and due to absent parents, they peed everywhere and little was done to clean it up. Therefore, the smell of cat pee brings severe anxiety, anger, and anything else that is related to a negative feeling. In 2002, a small kitten followed me into a 7-11. She was friendly but obviously abandoned and probably had her days limited if left in the busy parking lot of this convenience store. So on this wonderful day in the winter, I walked out with a Diet Coke, a pack of Marlboro lights, and a kitten. All three items were destined to deteriorate my health.
Fast forward to 2017 and this same cat is still with me. I am almost certain this cat will outlive me and I am only 34. This is the last cat I will ever own. Due to her age, attitude, and possibly her political views, she decided to start peeing on the carpet. I immediately google "life span of indoor cats." I realized I have at least 2 years left but maybe 5 years. I then take this 11 pound ball of fur to the vet to pay a lot of money for a diagnosis that my cat is healthy and a brat. Both of us come home hating each other. The peeing continues. Below is how I handled the situation in which she is still alive and I am slightly more unhinged than before. Several products will be mentioned as I am copying and pasting this review to all the companies who are responsible in allowing this cat to currently live through her natural life with me.
I spent a HUGE chunk of money on the litter robot. I recommend going to the litter robot website and researching this expensive toilet for cats. They have great customer service too. The litter robot is life changing for anyone who actually plans on owning cats for fun and for cats who refuse to use a dirty litter box. Due to my CP phobia, I plunked down the money. Everything worked great until my cat saw me enjoying life. The peeing began again. I put down a plain old square litter box and added "Cat Attract" litter. The peeing stopped. My adorable ball of high maintenance fur now uses the litter robot to go number two and the plain square box to go number one. The "Cat Genie" trash can is a must with anyone who has CP phobia. It keeps the smell down to a minimum and saves on trash bags.
Now that my 15 year old queen is satisfied with her restroom, I am now left to attack the cat pee smell. Putting Febreeze on a cat pee spot is like putting a cute SuperMan band aid on an 8 inch deep gash; it's super adorable but we all know I am going to pass out from the blood loss. Attacking cat pee is serious business and requires hours of work, determination, and money. Did I state how I will never own a cat again?
First you will need Rocco and Roxie pet stain remover. Just buy the jug if you are battling cat pee. The spray bottle will not be used. Pour Rocco and Roxie on the cat pee. It needs to be a puddle that soaks in through the carpet and into the carpet pad. We are not using a band aid, we are going in and sanitizing this dire situation. As you get the spots you can see, grab a UV light, turn off the lights, and prepare for night battle. Find all the illuminating spots and pour that Rocco and Roxie on all spots. Cat pee is no laughing matter to people like me. After all the spots are drenched, wait it out for a few hours and soak as much up with paper towels. If you use a towel, I feel you are transferring cat pee from one spot to the next. There will be a slight chemical smell. Again, cat pee is not like spilling your tumbler of vodka and soda water because the cat trips you up on purpose. Cat pee is anger and anxiety wrapped into one huge ball which needs strong chemicals to destroy.
If you are satisfied with Rocco and Roxie, and no odor of cat pee is present, then continue on with your life. If you are CP phobic and can detect a small whiff of cat pee, proceed to step 2.
Step two requires buying Angry Orange. Angry Orange is a smell that cats hate and is actually pretty pleasant to others. It smells like straight oranges. I bought the spray bottle and the concentrated refill bottle. Because I am CP phobic, I put a lot of the concentrated angry orange in a spray bottle and a little bit of water. I grabbed my UV light and went after the spots like the crazy, mad woman I have become. I sprayed all the spots only to have the entire house overwhelmed with the smell of orange. I am pretty sure my neighbors think I have opened a juicing station in the middle of my kitchen. I highly recommend following the directions of using the correct ratio of water to Angry Orange. If you do not follow the directions, not only will you think about writing a book called "James and the Giant Orange" but there will be slight orange spots on your carpet. Which now we can go to step 3.
Rocco and Roxie has an OxyClean product. This carpet cleaner gets out the toughest stains including my error of Angry Orange stains. Spray the product on any stain, let it sit for 5 minutes, and then start working on it with paper towels.
At this point, I am satisfied I have fought a good battle but I am still wary. I have an oreck orbiter to clean my travertine floors. I bought the attachments for cleaning the carpet and also Oreck Dry Carpet Cleaner. I spray the Rocco and Roxie OxyClean product as a mist on a 6 by 6 foot spot and then sprinkle the dry carpet cleaner all over. A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY. I rub the cleaner into the carpet with my oreck orbiter. Wait 45 minutes to 2 hours and vacuum. The Dry Carpet Cleaner gets out stains but it also gets out all the allergens and cat litter smell. I am not a fan of steam cleaning carpets. I have never had success. The Dry Carpet Cleaner is great for spring cleaning carpets or being completely unhinged by cat pee and needing to verify, the carpet is indeed clean.
Finally, after a week, I spray the areas in where I want my cat to never pee on, walk on, and or let alone even look at with the Natural Lemon Aerosol spray. Cats hate the smell of lemons and oranges.
I am now 90 percent satisfied I have won the battle of cat pee. I will not be 100 percent satisfied until I replace all the carpet but that will not happen until my cat crosses the rainbow in which she will probably pee on because that is how she rolls.
My cat has cost me a lot of money and time but I hope when I am old and peeing everywhere, that someone will take care of me and I will have two toilets in the same room. Did I state I will never own a cat again?
I hope this helps with anyone who has CP phobia and is willing to go above and beyond of getting rid of any trace of cat pee. I wish you well in your battle.
UPDATE AUGUST 27, 2017
Thank you for all the kind comments. I am thrilled my mania puts a smile on so many faces.
I received a personal email from the founder and CEO of this company thanking me for the review and offering a free bottle on the house. This is a small, family run business and I can not express how important it is to support these types of companies.
Since posting this review, I actually convinced a man to marry me. I clearly missed my chance as a saleswoman because I can sell anything, even a life attached to me and the feline. My cat is going strong and still a narcissistic princess with a special place in my heart and hell.
I want to add a few other recommendations to some of the qualms I have read in other reviews. As you may infer with my post, I am borderline OCD with cleanliness. I do squats at the gym just to master the hover technique over a public toilet. My advice is over the top but it works.
With any problem in life, you have to attack the source before treating the symptoms. Your decision to own this type of animal is the main source, the actual cat being second with their toilet being the third main source. After having a lot of self reflection on why you chose to own an animal that stalks you as if you were a gazelle and inevitably will latch onto the back of your leg while going for the achilles tendon to bring you down is the first step to solving cat pee problem. Then we move on to see if said cat is healthy and using the litter box. Finally we have to attack the actual cat toilet. Even when litter is scooped, it still holds the smell of cat pee. I change out my cat litter every 2 weeks and sometimes more. This means dumping the entire cat box into a black trash bag and then taking lysol to wipe the interior and exterior. This will help substantially in getting rid of cat pee smell. Again, attack the source, not just the symptoms.
Many have stated they are not fond the Rocco and Roxie cleaning smell. Cat Pee Smell is at the top of my offensive list which also includes items such as robot phone calls to my cell, McDonald's no longer frying their apple pies, hair in the shower drain, and taxes. When attacking cat pee, you have to neutralize the chemical composition of this awful smell. The enzymes in Rocco and Roxie deliver this result as best as I have seen. The after smell does not sit well with all. I use Rocco and Roxie with Oreck dry carpet cleaner every two months to clean my rugs and carpets. I admit I tire of the cleaning smell but have found a solution many may want to try.
After cleaning the pee and other items out of carpet, grab baking soda and some natural essential oils. I found a box of oils on amazon. Add tea tree oil and lavender to the baking soda. In fact, add whatever smell you would like for the olfactory. Add lots of drops to the baking soda and mix well. Shake this mixture all over the carpet. It needs to look like it just snowed. Get a brush, preferably with a long handle to protect your back, and agitate the baking soda into your carpet. Leave it on over night for best results and then vacuum. If you can't wait that long, at least let it sit two hours. Baking soda and the oils are all natural so safe for humans and animals. This step has helped in creating a more earthy and pleasant smell in my home when I do the manic bi-monthly cleaning.
Thank you again for all the responses and I hope one day to get a book published. As of now, I just update a file with favorite pics of myself and a pre-written obituary for my husband to publish in case my cat does accomplish her life long goal. Within the three column long obituary, I added few lines about being an "expert Amazon Reviewer". Sounds morbid, I know, but I can't trust my other half to use a decent picture of my face or remind the public why they will miss the Unhinged Crazy Cat Lay Who Is Not Fond Of Cats.