Top positive review
I wish I had more self confidence....
April 8, 2019
They are both comfortable and stylish.
I notice the amount of attention from the opposite sex while in these shoes, but that is hardly the shoes fault.
When I was a kid, I never really connected with my mother. It is really a long story, but because of that, my love life has been in crisis.
The first girl I asked out said that she'd love to go on a date, but she just found out she was diagnosed with cancer, and that she was moving out of the country, and that her mom wouldnt let her date outside of her religion, and that she thought that my disturbingly jutting and porous face was very unnerving.
The second was an older woman.
She didn't have an issue with my unfortunate condition because she had very bad eye sight and sense of smell.
Her dementia was annoying, but I was accepting of her problems.
She eventually broke up with me one day after her weekly Martin Balsam sighting, proclaiming her constant embarrassment of being seen in public with me because of my debilitating and gratuitous enthusiasm of Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction.
The third was a lovely girl that truly got me.
She had long blonde hair, smart as a whip and funny as well. I couldnt believe a girl like her would find a guy like me attractive, so I spent every waking moment cherishing her, and trying to show her how much she meant to me.
So after the restraining order, I bought these shoes to show her that I could be cool like Josh (this guy she's "engaged to", I guess), and that I can be a real man. She told me once that I wasnt a "real man" and that I "needed to grow up" and "not call her all night long" and to "stop leave notes in her house while she was sleeping" and "who are you?".
I know that there is a long way to go on the road to coolness, but the 3 stripes stand for third time's the charm.
As soon as I find out her new address I will walk up to her wearing these shoes and my favorite Pokemon onesie, and I will say loud and proud that "I am confident! I am a man now! I love you!"
And I am confident I will be able to say all of this to her because of these shoes. And the tolerance I've built up to pepper spray.