Top critical review
The Revenge of the Snowy Mattress Cover
September 22, 2018
I never knew it felt abused. I had no warning of the distress my mattress cover was experiencing. But today it all became known. It all started when I broke a small bottle of perfume on my bed and I was completely mortified. But gratefulness wafted over me as I suddenly remembered that I have a Luna mattress pad and my mattress is probably fine. I just need to wash everything. Relief. I started to pull off the sheets and the mattress pad to quickly remedy this now overpowering aroma. But what was this? All. Over. My. Bed. The mattress pad's water protectant covering had disintegrated into a million tiny pieces of plasticky awfulness. Mortification struck again as I tried to ball up the offending mattress pad and contain all of the pieces tht kept flying everywhere. Suddenly I remembered the original crisis of the perfume that was threatening to consume my nostrils with its potent odor. My hand found the spot. Sure enough, due to the millions of cracks in the mattress pad waterproof protection that was now littering my floor in a snowlike fashion, the spot was damp. And now my hand stunk of the now awful scent. At the end of myself I called for my husband and since there must have been complete desperation in my voice, he came quickly. He was stunned but he helped me pull the mattress up to a standing position and we proceded to beat the mattress. Snow in a not-frozen fashion filled the room. We stepped on it and pressed it firmly to the ground as we continued to pummel the mattress. In a moment of panic I beat the mattress with my fists to try to at least make the fragments of plastic subside. My husband, assuming the anger that must be the reason for this moment of rage assured me that all would be well. After cleaning the snowstorm from the cracks and crevices and combing it out of my hair, I sit to write this review. Let this be a lesson to us all. This mattress pad only lasted us five years before it wreaked its vengeance upon us. How I wished that when I noticed the slight peeling only a few months ago after washing it that I had replaced it at that time. But alas, it was not to be. Now if only I could sleep and rest my weary head on my bed... that stinks of flowers gone rancid.