I have been suicidally depressed since I was five years old. I have spent 40 years in therapy and I am on a cocktail of meds. I have had ECT treatments with varying success. I was ready to give up on therapy and possible pay for deep brain stimulation with my 401(k) money (my idea; My psychiatrist was not enthusiastic about the idea.).
Then I found this book. It all seems familiar. There is nothing radical in it, but seeing things presented as lifetraps (schemas) allowed me to see myself in a new way. I recognized myself in the subjugation lifetrap. As difficult as it was I started to assert myself, to ask for help and be honest with myself about my own passive-aggressiveness and the symptoms of my depression started lifting! As soon as I was manipulated into doing something I didn't want to do, I could feel the depression symptoms returning. I later told that person I would not be able to help after all and the depression symptoms lifted again.I am looking forward to finding myself in some of the other lifetraps.
This book is not a cure. I still have bipolar disorder and I still take meds. However, I consider this book to have been an important piece of my progress toward a more normal life.
I am a masters in counseling student and purchased this book to use with clients in my internship. I absolutely recommend this book to all counselors and anyone who just wants to learn more about themselves and make their lives better. The book is based on Schema therapy and breaks down the original 200-some question assessment for schemas. The first few chapters explain what schema therapy is and how it works. It has a 22 question inventory to determine what schemas you may relate to. Then, you can skip to the chapters of those schemas to learn more. In those later chapters, there are more indepth questions about each schema to determine the severity of that schema for you individually. This seems much more valid than the original phq schema assessment. The text is very readable and understandable. The schema chapters include exercises and examples to help readers to evaluate themselves and decrease the effect of their personal schema.
The packaging was very nice and the book came very quickly. Highly recommend this book and this seller!!
This is brilliant work. It is easy to read, there are interesting examples of all nine schema (the filters you see your life through) and the "how to" chapter offers the diligent a way to work through behaviors that no longer serve you. The reader must make the commitment to complete the exercises and be willing to get assistance when the going gets tough, but the tools are here to help you understand and accept yourself and make healthy choices.
I have shared the book with numerous friends and family members. The feedback has been positive and what people tell me again and again is that the book gave them hope...hope of conquering behaviors that interfered with relationships, career advancement, handling money prudently. It is very powerful, so if you want to feel better about yourself and you've been wondering how to make that happen, give this book a try. I am confident you will feel you got your money's worth.
Reinventing Your Life is an insightful book that can help one to determine self destructive patterns that may have emerged in early childhood and continue to cause havoc in your adult life. The different "lifetraps" as the author calls them are poor behavioral patterns that an adult can get stuck repeating, which can lead to absolute misery in relationships, work, and family life. There is a test early in the book to help you determine which lifetraps may apply to you, and then a chapter devoted to each of them that goes into further detail. Overall, I liked the book. I gained some insight into some of my own negative behavior patterns, and it certainly gave me some things to think about as far as relationships! With a foreword by renowned psychiatrist Aaron Beck, the book held great promise for insightful psychological breakthrough. I enjoyed reading about the different lifetrap patterns and how each could be unknowingly cultivated in a child by parents who are either absent, addicted, or well meaning and just uneducated. Young and Klosko go into great detail of childhood origins of each behavior pattern, giving examples of each and an anecdotal story of how some of their patients (of course with privacy protected) learned to overcome the self defeating behavior. The book was an easy read, used little medical jargon that was not well explained to the layperson, and will get you thinking. All that being said, there were some negative points, as to why I felt it only earned 4 stars. For starters, the information can be somewhat dated. The book has a copyright of 1993, so some of the interactions and anecdotes are not as applicable to the current world. That in of itself, however, is a minor flaw. The biggest issue I had with the book was the fact that there were just not enough time and words spent on how to fix the behaviors and how long that was going to take the average person. While a list of steps to take to remedy the behavior was presented with some explanation, I felt that wasn't enough to really assist a person in making drastic changes in thinking and interaction patterns without a professional therapist to assist. Therapy is great, but the point of a self help book is to help yourself, so they could have spent some more time explaining just how to implement these recovery steps and give more detail into how each of the examples did so in their lives. Compared to the amount of information provided on childhood origins (which provide great insight, but that is only half the battle), I think the implementation of change sections were lacking. In the end, I do recommend the book for use with your therapist in helping to determine and solve some self defeating behavior. I'm a huge fan of education and self improvement, so if you enjoy the same, this book might be worth your time to check out.
Easy to follow step by step book with exercises and quizzes to do Helps identify unconscious behaviors that are blocking progress in your life and solutions, practices to change the behaviors Not hokey not a quick fix Very valuable if your really interested in understanding why the same things keep going wrong in your life I was recommended this by my therapist and we worked through it together, but it's entirely possible to do it yourself
My therapist told me to buy this my first day with her. Awesome book. So helpful. I've only worked on one schema but it has been a huge help in fixing my relationship with my kid. It helped me realize how critical I am due to my own issues
There is honestly some really good insights in this book. Life traps are the type of relationship or situation that you find yourself getting into over and over again. There are simple questionnaires that you can do to see what your challenge area is. This then digs deeper in how you can identify this earlier and outlines techniques you can do to change it. I was mostly self aware of my life traps, but this gave me a bit more understanding to the why and signals to watch for. As with anything, it takes work to change a habit, but this was a solid first step to self discovery.
I started reading this book because a friend suggested it. I feel like a lot of the examples you can related to in one way or another (maybe be not to the extreme) but the example also help you realize some things that you maybe doing as a parent that may not be the best approach for a child like being overprotective or even praising them too much. What we may think as a parent that we're doing right may not be the best approach in helping our children in their future.
Let me start by saying that I've read dozens of self-help books, been in therapy for 4+ years throughout my life, have a Bachelor's in Psychology and did research in a psychology lab for over a year. In other words, I'm pretty familiar with psychology and the way the brains learns. With all that said, **this is one of the best psychology books I've read** (I'd put it above Firestone's "Fear of Intimacy" - both seem to talk about the same issues of schemas but in different ways). This book has provided case studies that reflected my own life, distinct lifetraps (or schemas) that help categorize my issues, and examples of origins that explain when, how, and why these schemas developed in me. I have zero doubt that anyone who reads these pages will not benefit tremendously in their day-to-day functioning afterwards.
This book is still 100% a 5-star read for me. The only two downsides are that 1) the book is a bit outdated. However, you can get a pretty good look at your life's history through these pages and look up some more up to date info on schemas/lifetraps online. 2) If your problems are minor (as some of mine are), the book offers solutions that can probably fix those. However, if your problems are deep (as others of mine are) the solutions offered by the book alone won't be enough to fix your problems. I will be in therapy, no doubt. However, the insight it can provide leads you to understand why you are the way you are - a gift I think any of us would cherish and I certainly will. This book's insight has taken the blame, guilt, shame, and self-hatred out of my life that I've carried around for so long for so much of what I have done. There are not many gifts that can surpass a feeling such as that.
Buy this book, read it, understand your life, see the reasons why you are the way you are more clearly, and be kinder to others and yourself as a result.